Transformation in a Second

Hoping you all enjoyed some delicious turkey during Thanksgiving. This year we cooked Beer Can Chicken! It was the most moist chicken I have ever had and no beer taste :)

A few days later, I finally released myself from my desktop computer after working on a big project for the last several weeks and jumped back onto my laptop. Yay, freedom! It’s so nice to cut the chains from my desk and go elsewhere to write. As most of you know, I work well in local coffee shops as many people do.

I haven’t had much opportunity to do that over the past 22 months due to living in that tiny south Texas town. 

Over the years I’ve grown to put up with the coffee smell — actually, I can’t stand coffee! As my drink of choice is being prepared (hot non-fat Chai tea), I try to snag one of the few roomy, cushioned seats because it’s going to be at least a 4 to 5 hour stint. I fire up my Mac, log on to Pandora and set up my headphones. By the time that prep is done, my drink is ready and I settle in.

But before I start working, I go through this amazing little transformation. As soon as my headphones are on, suddenly I no longer hear all the chatting, coffee machines and other superfluous hubbub. I still see a large room full of bustling activity, but music instantly changes everything in my world. It’s like being transported into the inside of a movie. I sit listening for a couple songs just observing all that is happening around me while my own private soundtrack is playing. It is surreal! 

Is it just me or do other people experience the same feeling?

After this transformation, I fall into what some call “the zone.” A place of total focus on the task at hand. When you don’t notice how much time has passed until you suddenly look up and realize it’s been way longer than it felt. 

The book I’m currently working on is about getting things done. It has been a good one for me to write because it has reminded me of successful (and not so successful) steps taken in the past for finishing projects. 

So many of us have lists of things we want to accomplish. Some big, some small and many in-between. Things we feel obligated to do or ones that have big “should’s” in front of them. Then there are those that are more passion driven. Regardless of how the project gets into our head, often we experience feeling overwhelmed and fearful. We feel there isn’t enough time and we procrastinate. 

I have felt all of those things myself, more than once. Which is exactly why I wanted to write about them. Have I mastered absolutely all the challenges and excuses? Well no, but I have found some ways to move forward. To not get mired in inactivity. And believe it or not, if you feel stuck, you can work through it as well by getting your mind in the right place, making some small adjustments and taking those all important steps.

As I work through the final edit and put finishing touches on this book — which is yet to be officially titled, I have you all in mind as the New Year approaches. The time when so many people make those resolutions for positive changes, yet find their behavior reverts back to normal by January 10th. 

I’m very excited to share my thoughts on getting things done in the hopes to help some of you to get moving towards your project goals and objectives. If you’d be interested in knowing about the book release and aren’t already part of my Readers Connect Group, you can easily let me know by clicking here:  http://eepurl.com/bui9Nv 

Thank you for reading today and I hope you have a wonderful and stress-free holiday!

— I’d love to have you as part of my Readers Connect Group that will give you notifications of future blog posts, book announcements and giveaways. Simply SUBSCRIBE. Also, to watch and learn more about my independent films, visitwww.mindclover.com.

Drill Team and Life (re-post from 4/10/14)

Because of an upcoming drill team reunion in California, I wanted to re-post this blog in honor of that event. Those three years were some of the most influential of my entire life. I cannot wait to be with these long time friends again, even for just a few hours. These are the types of relationships that in a second can return to the tight knit group we were way back in the day. 

Enjoy my blog from April 2014..... 

It is interesting how formative high school years can be. Of course, there was both great and challenging times, but looking back now, it is very evident that those years were important in my development and my preparation for life.

The lessons learned become more clear—especially the three years I spent in our high school drill team (10th through 12th grades). Just for clarification purposes, since “drill team” might mean different things to different people, here is a description of what we did at our high school. 

When I was a member, the drill team was very active. There were no flags or batons involved. We marched behind the band in numerous parades performing our own choreographed military style routines created to fit with the songs they played. Also, we performed in football and basketball game halftime shows. In the spring, we would put on our own show that involved lots of routines set to popular music. 

Tryouts for drill team were always nerve-wracking times as only some girls were chosen. Typically, there were about 40 to 50 girls on the drill team for a particular year. Then an additional five or so girls volunteered to be managers, basically there to help us from the sidelines. 

So, looking back, what did I learn? Well, lots. But, I will highlight just five here.

Nothing replaces good old fashioned hard work. It took endless hours and plenty of dedication to be on our drill team. It was required that we got up early and often spent time after school practicing routines that many times we performed publicly only once. 

There was no tolerance for bad grades or poor citizenship. Everyone had to keep their school work at a certain standard in order to participate. Very few girls let that slip. 

The mental and physical exertion required was intense at times. Our traditional formal uniform was made of black velvet and gold satin. It was so hot we used to wear guards to somewhat try and hide the huge sweat stains that appeared under our arms! 

I still have scars on both of my heels from repeated bleeding blisters after having to march in parades for miles in black heeled boots. Others suffered from heat exhaustion and other numerous physical ailments. 

Then, there was the need to perform. Remembering where to put those arms and legs and head movements at just the right time to the music. 

Judges would deduct points if anyone on the team had a stray hair out of place or who was not smiling during parade competitions. So, despite the exhausting miles we marched with all the aches and pains, we all grinned with our pearly whites through bright red lipstick and endured tightly bobby-pinned hair buns. It was all about projecting showmanship. 

To attain something significant, you have to work hard and put your time in. While this might be frustrating at times because you want to be at a particular level sooner, remaining disciplined and devoted allows you to gain irreplaceable lessons. Lessons that you can draw from later. The right people will notice your devotion, your allegiance, and your efforts. And, your smile through it all.

Leadership reveals itself in everything you do. Our five drill team leaders were elected by and from within the team: two Lieutenants, two Co-Captains, and one Captain. Humbly, I was chosen my second year as a Lieutenant and my senior year as the Captain of the drill team. 

Leading a group of over fifty girls—my peers, was challenging to say the least. It was a new and big responsibility for a freshly turned seventeen year old. 

We had an absolutely beloved physical education teacher who was our drill team advisor. The girls affectionally called her ZOT, since her real name was just too complicated to say or spell! 

Setting the tone for the upcoming year was important, so every summer we would have a devoted summer school session. It would help introduce the discipline needed for newly selected members and prepare everyone for our upcoming parade season. 

Normally, ZOT was there to help set the direction of the team, but the year I was elected Captain, she was out on a maternity leave for the summer session. So, we had a substitute who was nice, but basically left everything up to us. That actually turned out to be extremely helpful in building my own confidence (through fire) and I was able to begin the long journey of developing my own leadership style.  

I started to learn how to communicate with a large group of people. When to engage in fun, and when to be serious. How to make tough calls while maintaining respect. Effectively working through creative endeavors hand-in-hand with others on my team. And, I tried my best to build confidence and offer encouragement to those that struggled. 

Leading teams of individuals is not always an easy task. Garner ways to instill dedication and accomplish objectives through influence, honestly, and integrity. By being appreciative and respectful of others. Show yourself as trustworthy, while being able to admit your mistakes and imperfections. 

Not everyone will like you. Sometimes drill team members were looked down upon by certain groups in our high school because we were viewed as just cheerleader wannabes. They referred to us as the “Drill Team Dogs.” We weren’t in the cool kids crowd. 

It was interesting, because a few former drill teamer’s that did go on to be on the cheer squads usually stayed very supportive of the friends they made on the drill team. Often they came to our parades and performances. I think they realized that there really was something more accepting and less socially competitive about us “dogs.” And, heaven knows being socially accepted during those self esteem building years could make a big difference.

I’m sure I had some haters…haha! But honestly, it is amazing how many past drill team members have stayed connected to either a few or with a lot of friends made during those formative years in high school. 

There will always be naysayers and people who think they are superior to you. They are everywhere in life—co-workers, neighbors, even family members and friends. People have egos, some bigger than others. Rest assured that you must tolerate criticism and judgment at times with some people’s need to let you know they believe they are better than you. The key is not letting those folks bring you down. Not everyone will like you.

Never let fun disappear. There were definitely serious times necessary as we worked hard on the team, however, rarely did our fun disappear totally. Of course, when fifty high school girls spend so much time together, there was bound to be some disagreements. I’m sure that the years have erased the memory of a lot of the typical conflict, but really, I do believe our team got along quite well. 

There were so many great memories, it almost seemed like being fun-loving was a pre-requisite to success with our group. We certainly knew how to engage playfulness. So, I can’t help but list a few details here! Those of you who are fellow past EDHS drill teamer’s will remember:

-The night after tryouts, when we would “kidnap” the new members right from their beds in the middle of the night and take them to a central location for some public shenanigans in their pajamas. 

-Summer camp at UC, Santa Barbara. The pranks pulled on each other while staying in the dorms. Ahem, I won’t mention the short sheeted beds, the plastic wrap across the toilet seats, and the vaseline in MY hair that wouldn’t wash out for days. The incriminating photographs snapped, practicing in the hallways, and staying up too late giggling about who really remembers what.

-Early morning practices with curlers in our hair covered with bandanas. Counter marching through the band when we rehearsed together and our hearts beating just a little faster as we passed by certain cute boys. Picking the latest pop songs and creating and practicing routines both at school and on the streets in front of our houses. 

-Some of the extra trips we took. Like the long bus trip up to Las Vegas to march in a parade after sleeping the night before on the gym floor of a local high school. And, seeing our first “real” prostitute as we piled on top of each other on one side of the bus to gawk through the window at her! When we marched through the streets of Disneyland and performed on one of their stages. Our visit to the original Hollywood Squares television show in L.A. I was picked out of the crowd to go meet all the stars. I was so nervous, I could barely speak!

-Sleepovers at a person’s home. Yes, that would be fifty high school girls chatting, giggling, eating, rehearsing, and eventually sleeping on every open square inch of the house. Of course, going to sleep too early was detrimental. It meant you took your chances of being a victim of a frozen bra or hand dipped into a bowl of warm water. 

-Endless laughing, crying, talking, hugging, consoling, boy-talk, and making lifelong friendships. We shared so many delightful times together. Three years of hard work and hilarity!

True there are appropriate times to be pensive and focused. However, balance is so necessary. Having a healthy equality between seriousness and merrymaking is crucial for life. So, live and seek out excuses to inject zest into your daily routine.

Recognize and honor important periods of your life. I was so proud to have stood in front of that group of girls. That entire experience is one that has meant so much to me over my whole life. Seeing each person work so hard and be so dedicated to a common purpose is something incredibly special. I really believe that those experiences shaped my eventual choices in vocation, volunteer work, and the pursuit of my passions.

About 25 years after graduating from high school, I planned a drill team reunion. It took a while to get back in touch with almost everyone who was a member over those three years. Thankfully, many girls—then women, came to re-connect with each other and catch up on how life was progressing. 

It was interesting to be part of a group of friends that were aging and experiencing life’s normal process together. For example, dealing with aging parents and their eventual loss, having children and watching them form their own childhood memories before graduating and stepping out into life, marriages and divorces, work and careers, and of course, growing older ourselves.

Armed with adult maturity and the recognition of how unique and distinct those times were, the evening was unforgettable for me and I suspect several others. Even ZOT showed up! What a thrill it must have been for her to see what a positive influence she had on such a large number of ‘ladies’…as she always called us.

But, mostly the joy from that evening came from reminiscing about our shared drill team adventures from so many years ago. Since everyone remembered things from their own perspective, it was fun to hear the stories told, all slightly different, and several that had been forgotten and were regained.

When we were sharing those high school years, it was impossible to imagine life happening without those close to us. In other words, it felt like we would be best of friends forever. As we grew up, we discovered, just as others that have gone through this stage in life before us, that people continued on with their own lives and often moved away. 

We eventually realized that it doesn’t mean we couldn’t still have wonderful friendships with those we shared so much with, but instead the ways in which we interacted changed. Technology such as social media, email, and the good old telephone allowed us to remain connected. 

Relationships may come and go. But, no one can take away those important periods in your life. Acknowledge, appreciate and cherish them.

Thank you for indulging me through this visit into my past! I wouldn’t trade those valued friendships and life preparing years for anything.

— I’d love to have you as part of my Readers Connect Group that will give you notifications of future blog posts, book announcements and giveaways. Simply SUBSCRIBE. Also, to watch and learn more about my independent films, visitwww.mindclover.com.

Did I Really Say Never?

“I’ll never leave Arizona.”

“I would never live in a small town.”  

“I could never write a novel.” 

Yes, I admit all those words have fallen from my lips many times over the years. However, over the past 20 months, I have learned a very important lesson — never say ‘Never’ or at least redefine the meaning. Honestly, none of us can predict the future, nor should we want to. What would the fun be in doing that?

Much of the adventure in life is actually the joy of discovery and doing new things. If we close ourselves off from engaging in fresh experiences, think of how much we would miss out on. 

It takes courage to step out and try new things. But, I have always believed that unless we push ourselves to stretch...we will shrink. Is it always comfortable? No. Is it always filled with utter joy? No. Is it challenging? Most definitely. 

The reward being when we reach the other side, we realize all kinds of things including learning some valuable lessons. For example, things that happened that we liked or disliked. People we have met who were one-time acquaintances and others who will develop into long-term friendships. Situations and experiences that we will never forget and maybe a few we can’t wait to. Ultimately, we are smarter coming out than going in.  

My husband jokes that we will definitely not miss Cotulla. The small town in south Texas where we will have lived for almost 2 years by the time we move away this October. True, there are many things I will not miss — the poor selection of good restaurants, no decent grocery store, no movie theatre (thank goodness for Red Box, even though it doesn’t work in the rain), the lack of people contact, and the absolute frustration of sporadic and slower-than-molasses internet. 

But doing an honest evaluation shows that there will be some things I will miss! Living a half mile from anything provides a quiet atmosphere with few distractions making focusing on projects easier. Living in the midst of a field provides mesquite trees, wildflowers and wild animals to be regular scenes from our windows not to mention the beautiful sunsets. The gravel road may be hard to exercise on but provides more interesting images than walking on busy streets. Getting to see my husband a few days a week when he comes home for lunch and seeing him every night (he will travel in his new position). And, for our many weekend adventures exploring other interesting towns and cities in Texas (Priceline will miss us).

There are times when we all make decisions to do something as a means to an end. That is how we viewed this temporary move to Cotulla. We knew it would not be forever but instead could be a real boost for Rick’s career. And it gave me a good excuse to try my hand at book writing as well. Did it pay off? Yes!

In mid-October, we will be moving to Austin, Texas. Rick will begin a new position with his company which will expand his role and influence. For me, my intentions are to continue with my writing and also work my way back into filmmaking. Austin has a big independent film community and I’m looking forward to new projects and meeting many like-minded people. 

You know what I think? So many times it all comes down to attitude. Making the best of where we are at helps keep us sane, positive and better adjusted. Finding a way to continue doing or working towards what we love, or trying something completely new and different makes those less than perfect situations more tolerable. And in my case, even productive and enjoyable. 

So, I have changed my definition of the word ‘Never’ to now represent something different — New Opportunities. 

— I’d love to have you as part of my Readers Connect Group that will give you notifications of future blog posts, book announcements and giveaways. Simply SUBSCRIBE. Also, to watch and learn more about my independent films, visit www.mindclover.com. 

Mustard, Potatoes and a Black Cat

What does mustard, potatoes and a black cat all have in common? For me, they collide in dreams. 

A few nights ago, I awoke from a crystal clear dream with a fantastic idea for this book idea I’ve been developing. Many writers keep a pen and paper next to the bed to log these sudden flashes of genius. I use my notes app on my iPhone. So, when I awoke in the morning, I read my amazing idea and this is what it said:

Putting the mustard back in the fridge, I said, “I’m cool with that.”

What? 

That was my awesome idea?

I have no clue what that dream was about. Too bad, I’m sure it must have been earth-shattering. Ha!

As you know, most dreams are forgotten with the opening of the eyes and first thoughts of the day. However, a few of my nutty nighttime escapades did make it into my memory.

Dreams have always fascinated me. They seem to be a combination of thoughts and experiences and feelings of the previous few days. Some make sense, or parts of them do. And, most do not. You probably all know what I’m talking about. 

You are with people you know, but you don’t really know them. You are in your house, but it isn’t really your house. You suddenly can speak different languages or play new musical instruments. You are scantily dressed (yikes) or have to go to the bathroom but can’t because everyone is watching you. You try and run, but your legs won’t move. Or maybe you get to fly. I love flying in my dreams - I fly by doing the breast stroke! 

Many years ago, I woke up in the middle of the night in a major panic. My ex-husband was used to me walking and talking in my sleep, so the novelty of my nightly entertainment had worn off. So, I get up, walk to the bedroom closet, look in and low and behold there was a guy sitting in there pulling wires out through the wall. I freaked and started unloading all the items on the closet shelf and setting them on the floor. My ex just told me to come back to bed. I remember the frustration and anger that welled inside of me. How could he be so stupid as to not know some intruder was in our closet? It took me a while and I did wake up. But it took me longer to shake the extreme irritation. It felt so real.

I typically have more vivid dreams while I am heavily engaged in imaginative work, like writing. I guess my mind goes into major creative mode and continues to work both day AND night. 

Of course, I have had periods when I’ve encountered reoccurring dreams. You may be familiar with those. One I had during high school and college years had to do with a black cat. It was quite disturbing. As I held the cat in my hands, it clawed my arms as I squeezed it tighter and tighter. Tears rolled down my cheeks. My college freshman psyche professor had a field day with that dream.  

One of my most memorable dreams happened several years ago. I was in a potato field in Idaho (go figure). (I’ve never been to Idaho, but have always loved those little brown treats cooked every which way.) I stood there looking at all the potatoes lying on top of the soil. They were visibly shivering in the frigid air and making a chorus of high pitched squeals. While cradling one poor frozen potato in my hands, its little brown jacket suddenly split wide open. Completely overcome with grief, I started crying. I woke up crying. I love potatoes.

A quick Google search offers a myriad of definitions about potato dreams. What they mean when you see them, cook them, eat them, etc., etc.. I don’t know. I just think potatoes happened to be a food staple during those college years. And, maybe the thermostat in my apartment was set too low.

Dream interpreters out there may have explanations about what ever last one of our dreams mean. They can feel so real and often engage many of our senses and emotions. For me, they are just another opportunity to experience some crazy situations and are a reminder of how our amazing brains can work. So, try to enjoy them. 

And don’t forget the mustard!

— To be notified of future blogs and book announcements, please subscribe on the CONTACT page. To watch and learn more about my independent films, visit www.mindclover.com.  

Hey, Look At Me!

On a recent trip to the Riverwalk in San Antonio, Texas, I watched the actions of a six year old boy. I’m going to call him Bradley. From my vantage point, at first I could only see him, not his family. He ran full speed to the top of a popular pedestrian bridge over the river.

Thrusting his silver wooden sword high into the air, Bradley donned a huge grin and yelled out, “Hey, look at me! Mom, take a picture!” (Having raised two boys, I could relate to the enthusiasm.) Not receiving the reaction he was seeking, he continued calling out to take his picture, come on, take it!

Instead, a teenage brother showed up next to him on the bridge. That didn’t sit well with Bradley and he began turning away. Obviously, mom was attempting to take a photo with the two boys, but that wasn’t the plan of the younger. The older sibling tried picking Bradley up to force him to cooperate but all he received was squirming and kicking. Oh, and then more siblings showed up. Two middle sisters that tried to gain control of the baby of the family, but he wouldn’t have it.

Mom finally appeared to settle things. She posed with all four children. Bradley’s face scowling, arms folded, back turned to everyone. (I wonder if he’ll remember that particular day when he sees the photograph in his twenties.) After the picture was snapped, Dad walked onto the bridge and the family all crossed over to continue their afternoon stroll down the Riverwalk.

Recognizing her youngest was not happy in the least, Mom motioned for Bradley to stand on the bridge so she could take his photograph. After much coaxing, he obliged, but the enthusiasm had completely evaporated. Half-heartedly, Bradley raised his sword, furrowed eyebrows, no smile. It just wasn’t the same.

Any parent with more than one child will likely recognize this situation. We do our best, but sometimes we disappoint.

I spent the last month furiously writing a feature length screenplay for a competition. In it there is a scene on a playground. The children swing on the monkey bars, hang upside down by their legs, run after each other, laugh and shout playfully. They beckon their parents to watch them master the slide, push them on the swing, see what they can do. The adults wave and keep texting. Smile and continue chatting with other parents. Ignore the children completely, preoccupied in their own worlds.

Little Bradley reminded me of how even as adults, recognition is important. Yes, most of us learn to keep our pleas for attention in check engaging in more sociably acceptable behaviors. But, the desire and (dare I say it) even the need for receiving acknowledgement doesn’t disappear. Nor should it.

It’s much easier if someone else just notices our accomplishments or contributions and then sings our praises. But, that doesn’t always happen. You know, we work really hard at something and no one notices. A project runs smoothly due to our actions but the kudos either are given to another person or don’t come at all. This can create resentment, demotivation, and hurt feelings.

There is something to be said about feeling confident enough in ourselves that we don’t need the recognition of other people. Silently we feel contented knowing our own accomplishments. We downplay any attention passing off acknowledgement of our hard work by saying it wasn’t a big deal. After all keeping our ego in balance is more mature. Yet, darn it, sometimes we just feel like running up on that bridge, like Bradley, and yelling out, “Hey, look at me!”

As adults, receiving recognition is validation for our hard work. It can motivate us to continue our efforts to achieve more results. If you are on social media, who doesn’t enjoy lots of likes on Facebook or retweets on Twitter? Or maybe it’s getting lots of views on YouTube or hits on our website. Perhaps it’s feeling the love from letters in the mail or unexpected phone calls. These are all small ways for us to gain a sense of validation for something we have done or said or shared.  

So, where is the line? No surprise that people will handle things differently because we are all unique! We all have strengths and weaknesses. None of us are perfect. Everyone has things they do well and things they don’t. Each person has their own level of need for acknowledgment and their own ways of getting it. And frankly, we may agree or disagree with their elected attention seeking tactics.

For me, it’s easier to recognize the accomplishments of others rather than stand up like Bradley shouting for others to notice me. But then again, in reality, sometimes our livelihood depends on sharing our products, projects and opinions with others and we have no choice but to bring those items to the forefront.

It goes without saying that some will never say anything themselves, some will shout it from the roof tops, and others will fall somewhere in between. No matter how large or small, we all have something to feel proud of. Accept it, in your own way.

— Feel free to peruse my website to see what I'm up to. For notifications of future blogs and announcements, please share your email with me on the Contact page. 

A Few Words About Happiness

When I was in my twenties, somebody gave me a small poster with the words, “Life is a Journey, Not a Destination” printed under the sketch of a multi-pastel colored unicorn. I always liked that idea. And, once you hit middle age (we all have our own definitions of when that is), you begin to realize that many cliché sayings are true!

Especially with social media, we can’t help but see an endless parade of quotes and sayings and words of wisdom that people post. They are printed alongside photographs of thoughtful celebrities or precious children, pictures of gorgeous sunsets or mountaintops, stills of hummingbirds or droplets of spring water.

With the barrage of these visual messages, it’s easy to tire of words about being happy, the power of forgiveness or the importance of being grateful. That’s okay, just scroll on by. But lest we judge too quickly, recognize those words may bring comfort, encouragement, hope and occasionally a needed chuckle to those that share them.

It’s alright to be excited about anticipating the future, but don’t stop being happy with what’s in the present. It’s like baking chocolate chip cookies and never taking even a single nibble of that sweet uncooked dough! Can you imagine?! I think my boys liked licking the mixing bowl more than eating the actual cookies.

When people get too caught up in the pursuit of something, to the point where they aren’t enjoying life along the way, things become problematic. There is nothing wrong with striving for goals or objectives, but the key is not to abandon gratitude and contentment while on the journey.

Happiness comes from single moments in life. They may last for a couple days or a few hours or even just a few seconds. Those are what makes life satisfying. Provides that warmth in our gut that we crave. The more you have, the better! Go ahead and set your sights on things you hope to accomplish. Put those action plans in place. Crawl back up when you get knocked down. But living in the present as opposed to in the future or in the past, will bring that sense of happiness.  

Journeys also entail our relationship to other people. Family, lovers, friends—even strangers. It depends on the attitude you choose and the effort you put out. Not every part of our lives will be positive and happy. Life is life. Bad things happen and challenges arise. Living daily with a feeling of contentment and gratefulness for what you do have, ensures moments of satisfaction and joy occur along the often bumpy path.

Many people get a wake up call (or at least a very strong reminder), when tragedy strikes them or someone they care about. There comes a realization that life can end in a blink and how we allow our days to become full and busy with inconsequential things that won’t matter ten years from now. The trivial can easily suck the energy right out of our precious time. 

Trade up and out. Determine what is important and vow to entice more moments of happiness to occur. Talk to people who have come through those serious, life-threatening illnesses or accidents. They emerge with a renewed outlook and an appreciation for what they have now, even if things are difficult.

Moments of happiness occur while walking down the pathway of our lives. Let us not miss a single one of them.

Most people will skip over these words assuming it’s just another blog on happiness. That’s perfectly fine. But my hope remains that someone might be touched simply based upon the struggle they are facing today. A few words can make all the difference in creating a good moment versus a bad one.

Happiness is found in single moments along our journey, and words can inspire us to keep on traveling.

— Feel free to peruse my website to see what I'm up to. For notifications of future blogs and announcements, please share your email with me on the Contact page.

Focus on Focus

While participating in a recent conversation, I couldn’t recall my main character’s name from a novel published three months ago. All I could think of were the names of characters in the current book I’m working on. After what felt like an eternity (30 seconds), his name popped back into my head (Joe Tenning).

How strange that after spending hundreds of hours writing that book, I couldn’t remember something so central. It prompted some pondering about focus and the power it holds.

Most understand that focusing all our attention and energy on something enables us to produce results. When we have a billion things to do and experience feeling overwhelmed, focusing can help us sort through the mess.

When faced with these situations in a work setting, I always try to focus on what’s due next. Keep the boss happy and make them look good remains an effective strategy! Even when working for yourself, often it revolves around what’s to be delivered or presented next. Focus enables concentration on something in order to finish it.

The logical downside of “focusing on what’s due next” is time can fill up with the smaller, less significant and the more important continues to get pushed back. Let me give a personal example.

I’ve discovered starting the day writing and then doing other tasks late in the afternoon or evening proves more productive for me. Beginning the day knocking off what on the surface seem to be “fast” or “easy” tasks, often turns into a non-writing day.

Many can relate to the frustration when those things anticipated to take hardly any time end up taking way more than expected. For me it turns into, “Well, I’ll just knock out a few more of these ‘small’ things and get to the writing after lunch.” Then a phone call here, answering emails there, doing a bit of editing, checking the bank accounts, the internet going down, and (if working from home) throwing in a load of laundry, defrosting chicken for dinner, etc., etc.. Pretty soon, most of the day is history and writing gets postponed until tomorrow. And, MY kids are grown! I remember the days with children and elderly parent responsibilities as well. Yikes!

No matter how hard you work at eliminating the small stuff, more magically appear. So the reasoning behind starting with the “quick” tasks invariably is not a fail proof plan. Plus, distractions and interruptions will always exist. They can come in groves and at the worst of times.

This introduces the question—what is most important?

On occasion, life throws us and our loved ones terribly difficult situations. Serious diseases, accidents, misfortunes. Unexpected loss of relationships from death, divorce, disagreements. Hardships created from jobs, finances, health. The list goes on and on because, after all, this IS life and heartbreaking things happen. These times call for “focusing on what’s most important.”  

Then there is multi-tasking. Which more accurately is the ability to change your focus rapidly from task to task. It can be a sought after skill in situations that require multiple accomplishments during a time crunch or while under pressure. However, it can be more of a challenge when the task at hand requires extensive or creative concentration.  

One thing is clear. Focus is needed for results. We have to pick and choose where to put our mind and effort depending on our individual circumstances, our passions, and our goals.

Focus is best utilized when we use it to our advantage but don’t let it take over. That means maintaining balance in our lives. Perhaps we accept taking a little longer on a task (if you have that freedom). Sometimes it’s negotiation with loved ones about time. Don’t forget, keep things in perspective while taking both mental and physical breaks during the process in order to maintain some sanity and because getting sick means nothing gets done at all! Find what works for you to accomplish while at the same time keeping life balance.

Also, don’t forget the old adage to work smarter, not harder. And, enjoy small rewards along the way to keep you motivated.

One last thing. Remember the importance of celebration. With so much energy spent, there isn’t a more appropriate activity than celebrating an accomplishment with those around you. Congratulations!

Now…get back to focusing on the next thing.

— Feel free to peruse my website to see what I'm up to. For notifications of future blogs and announcements, please share your email with me on the Contact page.

My Scrawny TV Viewing Habit

Okay, I admit it. I hardly ever watch television. For a while, I didn’t even own a TV. And honestly, the only time I missed it was when actor friends were in commercials or had roles in films or shows that I couldn’t view right away.

Growing up, I was more of a typical viewer and enjoyed many of the favorites of my generation—re-runs of Twilight Zone, Outer Limits, Star Trek, Bewitched, Gilligan’s Island and the Monkey’s. My parents became hooked on the night time soap opera - Dallas, so I watched as well. But they totally lost my viewership as an entire season was wiped out when J.R. woke up from a bad dream. Really?

Saturday Night Live and The Tonight Show (with Johnny Carson) followed me through my college years. From that point on, not much else happened on a regular basis until my son, Trenton, got me started on Star Trek: The Next Generation. Love Jean Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart). Mr. Stewart simply always brings class to every project he does. X-Men: Days of Future Past was my favorite X-Men movie.

Alright, back to television. After Captain Picard was off the air (1991), I didn’t get pulled back into anything else for a while. Although other members of the household watched plenty of television, I just seemed more interested in other activities including childrearing, working, writing and music.

That was until my all knowing Trenton suggested I take a look at the television show Fringe. He knew my tastes and I was sucked in after the pilot. The characters and the scifi story lines kept me engaged for the shows entire five seasons. Fringe was the only television show I watched faithfully (on my computer via Hulu) and nothing has replaced it since.

I was in search of just ONE show that I really liked that wasn’t reality or sit-com. Trenton is an expert on the Game of Thrones series having read all the books and understanding the characters and world they live in. So we went back and viewed all the episodes and now await the new season to start. It’s a very popular series and I can see why people like it. Although for me, it simply doesn’t replace Fringe. Haha! Of course, I have Fringe on DVD now so I can revisit the entire show on occasion…and I do.

Even though I haven’t been a diehard fan of television viewing, my love for movies has never waned. We watch movies all the time. I just never realized I actually wanted to make them until around 2005. But that’s a story for another time. I’m sure there are some really good television shows out there, just seems I’m not very motivated to hunt them down.

My true love lies in psychological types of story lines with lots of twists and turns and a touch of scifi. Not surprising, I’m drawn to write the same types of stories. My latest film, Blue Copper, as well as the novel I am currently writing, is no different.

A few days ago while visiting my friend in Georgia, the 40th Anniversary of SNL (Saturday Night Live) show came on. We decided to watch the fun. Wow, so many comedians came from or participated in that program over the years. It was a blast from the past laughing at parts of skits I hadn’t seen since the late seventies. And even though many of the cast members from the early years are now in their 50s, 60s and even 70s, the younger generations seemed to be continuing the hilarity.

It’s all about entertainment—television, movies, books, music, theater. Life would just be way too dull without a way to engage our minds, warm our hearts, or prompt us to action. No matter which medium you are drawn to, support and enjoy those art forms and those pursuing them. It is certainly not an easy road.

— For more information on my projects or to sign up for future announcements, please visit www.mindclover.com. If you sign up before the upcoming audiobook for Promise of Protection is released, you will have a chance to win it for free! My latest film project is Blue Copper and latest novel is Promise of Protection.

[To be notified of my future blogs via email, simply click on the Get Notified of Future Posts! link at the top of this page. Thank you!]

Ten to Life

Most things in life have a beginning, a middle, and an end. Sometimes this process from start to finish takes a lifetime. Perhaps years or months. Then there are ones that take weeks, days, hours or even minutes. Depending on what is being experienced, we may or may not have control over the timeframe nor the end results.

With my engagement four weeks ago, my thoughts today are focused on a wedding. Specifically the process of getting married. Not so much on the things like spending life together or the combining of families and so forth, but more practically on the actual wedding.

The Beginning.

Most weddings are carefully planned and executed over several busy, sometimes grueling months. Months filled with appointments, shopping, celebration and spending money. Finding the rings, settling on a date, deciding where to get married and who should officiate. Securing a location, agreeing on the guest list, choosing the wedding party, finding dresses/tuxes, picking a caterer, a florist, a photographer, a videographer, DJ, cake, etc..

There is absolutely nothing wrong with all this fanfare and hoopla as, after all, it is an important day in anyone’s life. Not just for the couple getting married, but their families and friends as well. It is a very public symbol of commitment followed by a party to celebrate. I have enjoyed those experiences in my past and have very fond memories.

And sometimes choosing a simpler way is more desirable and much less stressful. Rick and I chose to skip down that path. True, planning was still necessary, but a lot less effort in a much shorter period of time.

For various reasons, Rick and I married last weekend. About three weeks after our engagement. Whoa…wait, what? That was the response of some. How Rick kept a straight face I will never know as he stopped his employees in their tracks after informing them we rushed the wedding because I was expecting. That led to a few moments of silence and jaw dropping before a hearty laugh. Uh yeah, I’m past that stage!  

Aside from those Rick works with, we know very few people down here in Cotulla, Texas. So, we decided to make things “official” sooner then plan for a party back in Phoenix in a couple of months to celebrate with our close friends and family.  

This leads to the next step in the process. The Middle.

Many years ago, I videotaped weddings for my original production company. After about seven years of doing this, I swore I’d never shoot another wedding in my life! Haha! Talk about burn out. You can imagine after filming likely two hundred plus weddings, I’ve witnessed the very traditional to the very untraditional. Exquisite ones with upwards of 600 guests down to casual ones with less than twenty. From a bride holding a cascading bouquet worth a thousand dollars to a bride holding the bridal reins whilst sitting on the back of a horse. (Yes, the bride and groom rode off into the sunset!) From cathedrals to ballrooms to backyards.

Our ceremony was conducted by a minister under the Tower of the America’s in San Antonio early on Sunday afternoon. Who was there? Us and the minister! Oh, and the minister’s wife who took some photographs. Having none of our grown children, other family members, nor best friends there was a bit unsettling. But, knowing we would be celebrating with them soon allowed us to move forward with our little private ceremony.

We met the minister, he explained what would happen and he began. Within ten minutes our vows were said, rings on our fingers, and we were husband and wife. What made me think about today’s blog topic was how those ten minutes were spent.

Usually during a longer, more traditional ceremony, the bride and groom face the minister as he or she talks. Then they turn to face each other during the vows, then to their guests afterwards. Well, this officiant had us face each other and look into each others eyes for the entire time. At first, I thought no problem. I mean, if I can’t stare into the eyes of my future husband for ten minutes, I probably shouldn’t be marrying him!

What I actually experienced was totally surreal. After just ten seconds I was faced with the fact that if I stared into Rick’s eyes for even ten more seconds, I was going to fall apart! My emotions kicked in and the seriousness and beauty of the moment hit me like a ton of bricks. As our minister went on speaking of love and commitment, the union of two hearts, and dividing our burdens, I constantly blinked back tears, looked at his forehead, his chin and even his left ear!

It wasn’t about rituals or traditions. It wouldn’t have mattered if there’d been hundred people watching. In those ten minutes of intense eye-contact, what was nonverbally communicated was pure and deep, beyond anything we could have planned for.

Ten minutes set a lifetime in motion.

It is hard to describe, but that’s love for ya’. When it came to repeating our vows, I barely got the sentences out. But, it totally convinced me that if given the opportunity of officiating the marriage of two people, I’d definitely have them looking into each other’s eyes for at least ten minutes! What a simple, yet highly intimate experience. One we both will not soon forget.

Enough mush. Now to The End.

We enjoyed lunch at the Chart House at the top of the tower. It is a rotating restaurant 750 feet in the air. It was an absolutely gorgeous day and the view of San Antonio was spectacular. Before drinking some champagne we texted some pictures and had some communications with our loved ones.

Oh, did I mention it was Superbowl Sunday? The New England Patriots versus the Seattle Seahawks. We changed clothes in the car and found a fun sports bar to enjoy the game. And, it was a good one, for sure. Probably not many would think about spending their wedding day watching football in a bar with a bunch of strangers hooting and hollering, but honestly, it was a great way to spend the afternoon with my new husband.

I am not knocking or implying that big weddings are a bad thing to do. I have had my own and have participated in many myself. Each couple determines for themselves what they really want at their particular phase in life.

After all, it’s all about love anyway.

As a side note and completely off topic, I wanted to let my wonderful blog readers know about a free giveaway of my upcoming audiobook for PROMISE OF PROTECTION. We finished recording Kane Black reading the novel and it’s now being edited. We will randomly pick two lucky winners! Simply register your name on my Mindclover page and once the audiobook is ready to go, we will pick from those that have signed up. Click HERE for the link and scroll near the bottom. Thank you!!  

— For more information on my projects or to sign up for future announcements, please visit www.mindclover.com. My latest film project is Blue Copper and latest novel is Promise of Protection.

[To be notified of my future blogs via email, simply click on the Get Notified of Future Posts! link at the top of this page. Thank you!]

Jack

Some thoughts on perspective. But, first a short story!

JACK

The door closed behind Jack with a click. The room was completely dark with the exception of a slit of yellow light that pushed through a crack in the door.

A voice whispered, “Where have you been?”

“You don’t want to know,” said Jack with a shiver in his voice.

Please click HERE to continue reading the short story.

— For more information on my projects or to sign up for future announcements, please visit www.mindclover.com. My latest film project is Blue Copper and latest novel is Promise of Protection.

[To be notified of my future blogs via email, simply click on the Get Notified of Future Posts! link at the top of this page. Thank you!]

Old Traditions and New Thoughts

For years I participated in all the traditional seasonal activities that I grew up with…

Dragging out boxes from closets that were chock full of Christmas decorations and donning the inside (and sometimes the outside) of the house. Assembling the tree and adorning it with beautiful ornaments that had been hung year after year, some that had been carefully crafted by loved ones. Joining in the retail madness and shopping for just the perfect gifts. Baking up a storm to assemble cookie plates for neighbors and coworkers and packing the goodies carefully into shoeboxes to send to loved ones across the country. Writing Christmas letters and including them in cards with the latest photographs of the kids. Attending holiday parties for employers. Rehearsing for weeks with other singers in preparation for a performance at our church Christmas Eve service. Setting out the cookies and milk for Santa and the carrot for Rudolph. Wrapping and placing presents under the tree after the kids finally had fallen asleep.  Waking up very early Christmas morning (when the boys were young) and dragging them out of their beds later (when they hit junior high) to open presents in our pajamas. Cooking a big meal for my children and my parents and always gratefully accepting the delicious apple and pumpkin pies my mom brought over. Later in the afternoon, braving the crowds at the movie theatre. 

I have such wonderful memories of those times. 

My how life changes! It seems over the past few years the way I progress through December has altered. Not necessarily for the worse, just different. 

The boxes of decorations has reduced down to two strings of colorful lights I hang up inside wherever I happen to be staying. I like those lights. They make me feel happy. I’ve considered leaving them up all year round, but then they wouldn’t be so special. Who knew a couple $1.99 strings of lights could have such an effect!

I avoid the retail shopping experience completely by purchasing gifts online. Often opting for gift cards allowing for the recipients to simply purchase whatever they really want. Some may say that’s a cop out, but it works for me. And, I don’t hear any complaints from those that receive them!

The December after both my parents passed, the baking ceased. That first Christmas without them was a hard one. I just never returned to the full fledged goodie creation routine. 

The stack of cards once faithfully sent out each year now mostly go unsent. A few letters might make it out but if so, they are usually after Christmas. For years, I enjoyed putting together our family Christmas letter summarizing events and special moments that had taken place during that year, but now with technology and social media, sometimes that feels redundant. Occasionally, I still do a version of the letter for those distant friends and family that are not online.

As children grow up and have friends and other families to share time with the traditional morning with family changes. I was away this past December, but am looking forward to a trip back to see my grown children next week. No need to feed Santa, Rudolph or cook a big meal. I miss my mom’s apple pie, though. 

My family and loved ones are important and I still keep the old tradition of phoning those that I cannot be with on December 25th. Also, Rick and I both love watching movies and since there is no theatre down where we live, we watched a movie on DVD instead.

Do I miss the way I used to spend my December’s? Well in some instances, yes. But in many things, definitely not. 

Although I recall all what I loved about the crazy, busy holiday season, it honestly can quickly become self-inflicted stress. Just the shopping alone can make us exhausted and lose track of what is really important. It can become a time of year with ridiculously high expectations fueled by marketing experts in the retail industry. When I read about people being rude, initiating fights and camping out for days all to get their hands on some material item that they believe to be so important, it makes me shake my head. True, we all have different priorities so to each their own.

The few days between Christmas and New Years, I spent some very quiet time thinking and exploring project ideas for 2015. I say quiet because the place where I was staying had no Internet and very limited cell service! (Amazing these days.) However, it allowed for little distraction and some productive time.

And yes, I did bring and put up my two strings of lights! The weather was rainy and cold for an entire week, something that after living in Arizona for thirty years is tough to deal with! However, one late afternoon the sun peeked through the clouds providing a wonderful, reflective moment on Lake Palestine.

Most assuredly, I have come to like and appreciate a simpler December. A calmer one. One not filled to the brim with activities, over-the-top expectations, and trying to live up to someone else’s standards. 

I have so much appreciation to those of you who read my posts/blogs and am forever grateful for your love and encouragement. I have good vibes about 2015 and am excited in getting started. May you all have a blessed and fulfilled year.

— For more information on my projects or to sign up for future announcements, please visit www.mindclover.com. My latest film project is Blue Copper and my novel is Promise of Protection.

[To be notified of my future blogs via email, simply click on the Get Notified of Future Posts! link at the top of this page. Thank you!]